Happiness Information

Getting To The Root Of Unhappiness


Many people live in clutter, emotionally eat themselves into overweight, live in debt, hate their jobs and otherwise live unhappy lives, unable and seemingly unwilling to change. Why? What do these have in common? What is the core issue?

Fear, or rather an absence of love.

Fear, and not hate, is the "dark side" or opposite/absence of love, the way darkness is the opposite/absence of light.

Whether your self image is controlled by unhealthy or uncontrolled overweight or fanatic perfection, both stem from fear. In the first, food is used to comfort upset emotions and to retreat into - a true friend that never lets you down. In the latter (and sometimes the former), control over the body supplants a loss of control elsewhere in life, eventually taking over that life.

Clutter is almost always fear-based - fear of not having something and needing it, fear of getting rid of something important, fear of leaving oneself open to new experiences (which can't come in because your house - and by extension your life - is already full) and fear of being alone with oneself and one's thoughts (clutter requires so much of our energy to deal with and work around, it can serve as a sort of mental static to keep us too busy to think about important things).

Debt is another symptom of fear - people get into debt for many fear-based reasons (like needing stuff to make themselves feel better, or for fear of not keeping up with the Jones' and being socially outcast). Another part to this equation is that many people will not get rid of their access to credit (cut up cards, etc) because there is always that "what if an emergency happens and we don't have cash on hand to pay for it?" which is made moot by the fact that most of their credit cards are maxed out anyway. Debt is also a symptom of the fear of doing without, even when carried to extremes. The fear of going without and the feelings of "being without" fancy clothes or expensive meals out is no less than the fear and experience of going without basic clothing and food, although the reality is different.

Working at a job you hate is nothing but fear - fear of not having enough, fear of quitting and not being able to find other work (or finding it and being stuck with something even worse), fear of not being to keep up with your "stuff habit" or your debt, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of relying on yourself, fear of doing things differently or out-of-the-box (running your own business, running off to Mexico, etc), fear of letting the family down, fear of "wasting" your education, fear of what other will say, think, fear that your mom/dad/sister/evil art teacher were right and so on.

Fear is the basis for pretty much all human suffering, not counting natural disasters and other acts of God. And the opposite of fear is love. Love creates an ecosphere of calm and plenty, because you know there is enough (if only just enough) and so feel no need to "get mine before someone else does." Nor do you feel the need to hoard (clutter) or gather in more than you can afford (debt) to assure yourself of plenty. In a world of love, all are accepted and loved for their own personal strengths and forgiven their faults, therefore negating the need for drowning in the comfort of stuff and food (debt and overweight), or worrying about what others will think if you quit your job to become a Mexican portrait painter (toxic job). And on and on.

Learn to live with love, for yourself and for others, even when they don't meet your standards (even the rich and awful deserve your love, for they serve their purpose, too). Creating a world of love is up to each of us. We cannot wait to see if others take the first step. They are waiting for us.

(c) Soni Pitts

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.

She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.


MORE RESOURCES:

Three Ways to Find Happiness on Facebook
Huffington Post (blog)
If we want to be happy -- or happier -- there are ways to use Facebook and other social media to help us get there. We know that certain practices, like acts of kindness and expressions of gratitude, are highly likely to increase our happiness.

and more »


The Guardian (blog)

Better life: relaunching the happiness index
The Guardian (blog)
This government - like many others - is keen to find new ways to compare nations, which is the motivation behind the moves to measure happiness and life satisfaction - and you can read more about these here. The Organisation for Economic Cooperation ...
Canada ranks high in housing, safety and life satisfaction, OECD saysGlobe and Mail

all 245 news articles »


It's Time to Tax Happiness
BusinessWeek
There is, however, at least one revenue-generating tool that's simple, fair, and very efficient, at least in theory: a tax on happiness. Remember the famous (if elusive) “Laffer curve,” which suggests that if you raise income taxes, people won't work ...



Research Shows Couples Can Increase Marital Happiness, Even Those on the Brink
MarketWatch (press release)
SAN DIEGO, May 22, 2012 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- Researchers at Healthy Relationships California have found strong gains in marital satisfaction among 17245 participants of Marriage Education programs in California, the nation's largest study on the ...

and more »


Cinema Blend

Simon Pegg Signs On To Search For Happiness
Cinema Blend
But now the funny man from England is looking to step outside the comfort of straight-up comedy, taking on the lead of Peter Chelsom's soon-to-shoot travel tale Hector and the Search for Happiness. Based on Francois Lelord's novel of the same name, ...
Simon Pegg searches for HappinessThe Press Association
Cannes 2012: Simon Pegg Signs Up to Find 'Happiness'Hollywood Reporter
Simon Pegg Will Go on a 'Search for Happiness' in Peter Chelsom's NextFilm School Rejects
Collider.com -This Is Fake DIY -ComingSoon.net
all 22 news articles »


Survey shows Singaporean men happier than women at the workplace
TODAYonline
SINGAPORE - A survey on what makes Singaporeans happy and unhappy has shown that men are happier than women at the workplace and baby boomers are the country's happiest people. The study by Grey Singapore, an integrated marketing communications agency, ...

and more »


Author picks San Luis Obispo as one of happiest places on Earth
Ventura County Star
By Michele Willer-Allred Ventura County residents interested in finding the happiest place on Earth might want to forgo traveling south to Disneyland and head north to San Luis Obispo. National Geographic explorer and best-selling author Dan Buettner ...

and more »


NY1

Poll Shows New Yorkers Tie Happiness, Success To Weight
NY1
An overwhelming majority of New Yorkers think thin people are happier and more successful than overweight people, according to a new NY1/Marist poll. The poll found 72 percent of New Yorkers think thin people are happier than overweight people; ...
Marist Poll: 7 in 10 say thin people are happier, more successfulPoughkeepsie Journal
YNN-Marist poll: New Yorkers on obesityRochester YNN

all 6 news articles »


Doctor Who: The Happiness Patrol – DVD Review
Monsters and Critics.com
But they haven\'t reckoned upon the varied punitive measures enforced by colony leader Helen A. There are many delicious ways in which to vanish ...more I'm happy the Happiness Patrol is arriving on DVD… if I didn't say that a group of gun touting ...



Sowetan

Palmgren: 'Happiness' is key
football411.com
Roger Palmgren believes his ability to bring 'happiness' to AmaZulu was one of the reasons behind the team's impressive turn around this season. Palmgren took over at Usuthu from the sacked Manqoba Mngqithi in September last year, with the Swede ...
Chiefs reflect on a season best forgottenSowetan

all 2 news articles »

Google News

Mommy Home Jobs | Mommy Matters | index | site map
Copyright MommyHomeJobs.com